Release by Polk County Sheriff’s Office:
A couple called 911 at around 4am Wednesday when someone tried to break into their home on Lake Drive NW in the Haven of Winter.
In these kind of situations, dispatchers try to get important information about the suspect, such as what he is wearing. In this particular case, the suspect was not wearing anything but a scowl.
The first deputy arrived on scene less than three minutes from when the call was received. For the victims, it must have felt like an hour. After all, it’s not often one gets a visit by a naked burglar at 4am.
When deputies confronted the naked man named Jim, he was indeed nekkid as the day he was born, buck nekkid, in fact, as he was wearing no socks, and he was holding a shovel. Since World Naked Gardening Day was observed back in May, naked Jim armed with a shovel was problematic.
The deputy whipped out his Taser and told Naked Jim to put down the shovel. Instead, Naked Jim raised the shovel and began approaching the deputy.
The Taser produced the desired effect. For the deputy, not Naked Jim. It caused Naked Jim to drop the shovel and fall to the ground, giving the deputy time to safely, and very carefully, so as to avoid certain parts, secure Naked Jim.
Deputies say Naked Jim appeared to be under the influence of an unknown narcotic—he was sweating profusely and appeared disoriented.
Naked Jim was taken to the hospital to make sure he was fine. Following that, he was taken to the Polk Pokey and charged with Attempted Burglary and Aggravated Assault on a LEO.
But wait! There’s more!
This is not Naked Jim’s first Naked Rodeo—shall we uncover his prior revealing episode?
On July 25th, Naked Jim was arrested after trying to break into a house, again naked, on Avenue R NW. During that incident, Naked Jim actually kicked-in the door of the house.
Naked Jim has a history of drug arrests (most notably for Cocaine). He denied taking any of the drug during one of the arrests.
Whatever the reason, Naked Jim needs to stop trying to break into people’s houses. And keep his daggum clothes on.